Kissing Frogs ...

Kissing Frogs.

Frogs … kissing … princes … princesses … fairy tales … life lessons …warts.

Why, oh why, is there so much pressure on a kiss? Turning frogs into princes, princes into frogs, breaking evil spells with love’s true kiss, the kiss of death … so much drama.

Truth is you do have to kiss a lot of frogs, and the older you get, the more frogs there are that litter the dating landscape. Frogs, frogs everywhere … Girl frogs, boy frogs, lots of non-prince or princess frogs. I think that there has been a lot of false advertising going on over the last hundreds of years. Those damn fairy-tale writers should be fired.

As far as I know, frogs DO NOT turn into princes or princesses. (Once a frog always a frog)

As far as I know, the Grimm Brothers have a really poor sense of humor.

As far as I know … I’m not kissing anymore frogs.

Never … ever …again …

Amen.

Here’s some advice for those of you that are back on the dating scene after perhaps not dating for some time. Whether it’s because of choice, marriage and divorce, or any other number of things, remember this … a kiss is still golden. It may not turn those guys or gals into royalty but you are being judged by your capabilities. Bad kissing … it’s a deal breaker.  The thing that you need to realize, like everything else, don’t rush into kissing your date, wait. Go on several dates … build up some rapport with this new person that you’ve decided to see. Get to know them, dazzle them with your wit, your charm, your fabulous personality. Then … once you get to know this Dating Specimen … grab your confidence and go in for a smooch. Don’t be nervous … just breathe … then swoop. Let’s call it the breathe and swoop move. Then … STOP! Take their breath away and then say goodnight.

As far as I can see, people rush into everything these days when you should be taking your time. A reasonable amount of time, between steps of dating, ensures comfort level, compatibility, and in the end, longevity. Why on earth would you go ahead and kiss someone you know nothing about, where those lips have been or how many god forsaken frogs they’ve kissed. You don’t need to kiss any more frogs. Value yourself and the kisses that you are doling out, make sure the Dating Specimen that you’re swapping spit with is actually worthy. Why?

What if that one kiss, melts someone’s heart, especially after taking the time to get to know you, it’s like the icing on the cake.

The second part of this comes from actually choosing the right dating specimen; again … frogs … do not apply. From what I hear from clients, friends and foes, 90% of them are on dating sites, trying to find just someone decent to love. HOWEVER … between the shifting through the garbage that people tell you, you have to be a private investigator like myself to figure out if they are actually legit. This is where the frogs come in … Why would you start off dating someone on a persona built on lies? This boggles my mind, and from what I understand, people might start off doing so to protect the identity of who they really are, inside and out. Sometimes, it’s about role playing. Sometimes, it’s about leading two lives. Sometimes, it’s about not wanting to get hurt. Sometimes, it’s just about being a downright fugly frog.

For every man and woman that is on a dating site, flinging frog crap, there is a very sincere, very nice person, trying to find a nice person to go out with, perhaps even fall in love with.

It’s a tough world out there when it comes to dating, especially if you are older, and I put over 35 and up into that category. Especially if you don’t like hanging out at the local bar, or dance club. The competition is steep and truthfully you really do have to put your best you out there.

This is why I encourage my relationship and dating clients to limit the amount of frogs they are willing to kiss, and make sure that they are choosing to hang out at decent ponds, nicely filtered, eco-friendly. When we work together on their dating site personas, I encourage them to be real, and to be open. No bullshit. Don’t pretend to be someone you aren’t or right from the start you are setting yourself up for failure. I set the framework as such, “What happens if the guy or gal that you met online is really fantastic? So fantastic and wonderful that you actually start to date, then you want to introduce them into your life and you realize that you can’t because EVERYTHING that you’ve told them about who you are is a lie. You can’t recover from that, EVER.”

That’s why we work extensively on who they are first and what they are looking for in a new mate, we want to make sure that we aren’t frogs ourselves prior to going out to find our own prince or princess. We are working towards lowering the frog kissing ratio to zero, by appreciating ourselves first, using good judgement (big head should rule), common sense, most certainly your gut.  If it’s not right your gut will tell you. Whatever you do, don’t kiss a frog, just to be kissing someone. You don’t need the warts hunny.

So… to all of you that are out there wanting to date, or are dating, consider taking your time, be sure of who you are and what you want. Be honest with yourself and most of all with others. Dating is hard enough without adding more drama to the dating games that people play.

That’s why I love my job, when working with clients, and I see the difference in them, once they have the confidence to be fabulous, it really is amazing. I do believe that there is someone out there for everyone; I do believe that love is worth the effort and is worth waiting for. I believe that if you know who you are and you love yourself, the rest will fall into place.

So … all together now … NO MORE KISSING FROGS!

One more time … NO MORE KISSING FROGS!

No Frogs …

Never … ever …again …

Amen.


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