We all want to provide the best we have to offer to our children. When you have kids, it doesn't come with a manual, instructions, not even a "Raising Kids For DUMMIES" variation. I kind of find it baffling that as parenting is the single most important job in the world, you are on your own to figure it out. Yes, there are books, but when you are busy child-rearing, cleaning dirty diapers, running to soccer or burning the candle at both ends, who has time to read? I'm over those humps now and my bio-units are older, so they survived, I survived, so I guess it's all good. Now... they will be having children. Now's my chance, to maybe help them along their path, spoil the gran-babies and send them home. Funny thing is as far as advice goes, children seem to have to make their own mistakes and learn the hard way. Some more than others.
I'm turning 50 next week, yes 50, I can't believe it personally, I don't feel 50. I remember thinking that when I was a kid, 50 was an OLD person, like a geriatric type. Now ... not so much. I do feel like it would be nice to pass on some of my knowledge to my children, you just never really know if they are listening. I figure it's worth a try, at some point I have realized it does sink in. So... The things I think you need to pass along to your children, bear with me.
I was chatting with a friend this morning, she’s a great one to toss life stuff back and forth with, she is an old soul, one of my besties and one of the many people in the world that don’t realize how incredible they really are. I think that is the most challenging part of what I do… helping people see their worth. I think that is the most common underlying issue that we all face. She’s going into Charis Boot Camp… daily affirmations and she is getting COCO-fied … even if it’s under duress. (If you haven’t read my website, do so here, under the “CharisOnStyle” category to understand this quip)
No seriously, the root to all else that we as humans struggle with, is the value that we bring to the world. Now… let me make this clear here, the world can be as large as you want it to be or as small as you feel comfortable with.
In re-learning about whom we are and what we want out of our lives, it all begins with how we see ourselves. Unfortunately, our past history, current lives, relationships, and our jobs often provide parameters of what we believe of ourselves. What I’m going to tell you is about strength. It is the biggest challenge that you have as a functioning human in this world and trying to be happy, healthy and loving life. To some, this seems like an awfully large goal. I’m here to tell you that it’s real and you can do it. You must dig deep and you have to be strong.
Some people just get stuck.
Stuck … in the roles that others have put them in. Stuck … in seeking validation from others, when we really only need to validate ourselves. Stuck … in a negative thought process that keeps them spinning in an endless cycle. I know that you see these things on my posts all the time, little quips about how to change your life. Bottom line is this… we alone as individuals are responsible for what happens in our lives. We are the change that we seek. As soon as you realize that you alone can change your life situation, you can then change your future and your story. We all have a story, we all have experiences that help mould and help us along our way. Our path is what we choose, yes choose, by the choices we make along the way. Where we are at in our life cycle is not fault of others but of ourselves. We choose how we are affected by what other people say and do, we choose to play an active part in our lives or we end up becoming bystanders, watching our lives pass us by. We can choose to let life consume us, or we can take charge and consume life. It’s our choice.
Change is hard, really hard, you get scars, you will cry, you will look at things in a totally different way than you ever have. It will challenge everything you know about life and about yourself. Not many people want to do the hard work; it’s REALLY hard to look at yourself and to analyze who and what you are. It’s really hard to be accountable for all that your life is instead of blaming it on others. If you don’t like what your life is, then get off your ass and change it.
Trust me, I’ve experienced many hard times in my life, and I am grateful for every single one of them. Every instance where I hit a bump in the road, I was able to look at the situation and learn from it, analyze the good, the bad and what role I had in it. Look at the bumps in the road as an exfoliating face mask…. You put it on to scrub off the dead skin so that the underneath skin, new and revitalized skin can come through. It’s great to exfoliate… regularly. All the bumps do is help you define what works and what doesn’t in your life. It’s all trial and error. Get rid of the old and bring in the new.
Many of the things that I say in coaching … I believe to my core. Why? Because … it’s true. Why? Because … I’ve lived through those bumps and am still here to talk about it. That’s why I’m a life coach, I’m hoping to help others get through those bumps in the road, make their lives better and change their story. We are all story tellers; I want my story to be one of happiness, success and fulfillment.
So… getting to the title of this piece.
What’s the best thing that you can teach your children?
Teach your children that they are the only ones that can create their story. It isn’t about anyone else… they alone are responsible for who and what they become. Harsh? Hell no, it’s cruel to let them believe that a successful life comes from luck, or who your meet, or the family you are born into. We are all born with infinite possibilities; we just give up because it’s damn hard work. There is no easy way to becoming successful. Let me be clear about the definition of success before we go any further… success is not necessarily tied to financial gain, only of course if that’s what you want as part of your “success” story. To me, success is about a happy life, great kids, providing a stable, loving environment for my children and one day, my grandchildren. Success is appreciating the life I have and the people around me. EVERY day I wake up and am grateful. (This is one of the little tricks to success… practice gratitude) Manifesting what you want in life comes with a positive healthy attitude, the ability to set goals, the ability to work your ass off to achieve those goals, kindness, forgiveness and above all, humility. We learn the importance of these traits after every bump in the road that we experience. I wish I knew then, what I know now... it would have saved me from many of those bumps. Teach your children that parents aren't infallible, as life is constantly changing and adapting for them too, the bumps don't stop just because you're an adult or you get older, you just get better at managing them. Sometimes we all just need a little consideration, kids and parents alike.
If you want to lessen the bumps in your children’s road of life, then teach them to be strong. REALLY strong. Teach them to love and value themselves. Teach them to Love and value others. Teach them gratitude and forgiveness. Teach them that they are responsible for their own lives. Teach them that every single day, we should be as happy as we possibly can be … and if they aren’t, then they have to make a change.
Change is not a dirty word.
It is exhilarating.
It is an adventure.
It is what life is all about.
Lifestyle blog, detailing life experiences, coaching tips, how-to's with lifestyle product recommendations and reviews. Health, beauty, travel, home and family!
Let me not be judged by what I have and have not accomplished but by the remarkable children I have raised. Mother, Business Consultant, Entrepreneur, Designer, Artist.
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